Rules for communicating with suspicious people. How to contact people who are overly suspicious? Open body language

An expert on the “I am a Parent” portal, child safety specialist Mikhail Rulev, gives practical advice on how to develop children’s skills for safe communication with strangers.

By interacting with children and asking them leading questions, adults can learn which situations when interacting with strangers they consider potentially dangerous and which they do not. Let’s assume that a conversation with a woman may seem safe to your child if it takes place at school or kindergarten. The child considers her a teacher or educator, since he does not know all the employees of the educational institution, and the “teacher” has a corresponding appearance.

Rules for safe behavior with strangers for children

Parents are given the following tips on how to develop safe behavior in their children when interacting with strangers:

1. Try to convey to your child the idea that he is not obligated to help strangers, even if the situation or public morality demands it. Your child can help a stranger by telling his parents or a friend about his problem, or by recommending that he seek help from an adult.
2. When teaching children the rules of behavior with strangers, it is advisable for parents to focus the child’s attention not on what he should not say to strangers (for example, details of family life), but on what he should say in order to avoid troubles and dangerous situations.
3. Work with your child on his actions when meeting a stranger in different situations. Remember, these actions should be aimed at stopping any communication with strangers. To do this, the child should, without entering into an unwanted dialogue, leave the place of conversation as quickly as possible. After he is safe, it is advisable for him to tell his parents or familiar adults about what happened to him. Otherwise, it may be at risk.

When meeting a suspicious stranger on the street, the child’s action algorithm may be as follows:

First step: assess the situation

Children should understand that every stranger standing in front of them is a potentially dangerous person. It doesn’t matter who it is - a girl, a boy, a grandfather or an elderly woman - if the child does not know him (or his parents do not know him), then in front of him is a stranger and, therefore, he should be treated accordingly. Read about child safety, in which an expert from the “I am a Parent” portal explains to parents who their child can be considered “their own” and who can be considered a “stranger.”

Step two: move to a safe distance

Teach your child to keep a safe distance from strangers. To do this, measure a distance of two meters on the floor at home and ask your child to remember it. If a suspicious subject approaches you, you need to quickly leave or run away from him in a safe direction.

Step Three: Stop Communication

Among the attackers, there are many excellent psychologists who can easily “chat” an adult, not to mention a child. In this case, children can stop a conversation with a dubious interlocutor with the words “Sorry, I need to ask my parents’ permission,” “Sorry, I can’t help you with this, ask an adult,” and so on. While the stranger is trying to analyze the situation and make a decision (psychologists believe that this takes a person from two to five seconds), the child has time to leave the dangerous place or call adults for help.

Step Four: Get to a Safe Place

Without allowing the stranger to finish, the child can approach the familiar parents of other children who are in the yard, or go home, keeping the stranger in sight. And once you are completely safe, contact your parents and inform them about the incident, verbatim retelling the conversation with a stranger.

You can learn how to instill in your child the skills of safe behavior outside the home by watching a video lesson with the participation of a child psychologist on the “I am a Parent” portal.

Child and stranger: options for stopping the conversation

Let's look at possible options for communicating with a stranger using specific examples.

1. While playing in the yard, a child the same age comes up to him and says: “A new sports town was built not far from here. Let's go have a look." Answer: “I need to ask my parents permission first.” The stranger continues: “I thought that you were already big enough, but it turns out your mother doesn’t allow you. Are you weak? Answer: “I’m not weak. I’ll go home and warn my parents that I’m going to the sports camp.” After this, the child quickly moves to a safe distance and goes home, checking if the stranger is following him. After his story, parents should go down to the yard and check the information received from him.
2. A car stops next to the child on the street, and an unfamiliar female driver, smiling, asks: “Please get into the car and show the way to July Street, otherwise I’m very late.” Answer: “Sorry, I can’t help you.” Your child quickly moves away from the car to a safe distance, and then walks away in the opposite direction of the car, checking to see if the woman is following him. And once in a safe place (at home or in the yard), he tells his parents, teachers or other familiar adults about this incident.
3. While walking in the yard, the grandmother approaches the child and asks: “Please help me lift the groceries to my apartment in the neighboring building on the third floor.” Correct answer: “Sorry, I can’t help you. Seek help from adults." Once safe, the child, as in other cases, promptly contacts his parents and tells them about the incident, verbatim retelling the conversation with the stranger.

Mikhail Rulev,
candidate of pedagogical sciences,
child safety specialist,
author of the course “Child Personal Safety” for children 7-11 years old

Sometimes we have to deal with difficult people, that is, with those who give not very necessary advice, criticize and express their opinions with or without reason. Openly avoiding such a person means provoking new conflicts, so it is better to use some techniques when communicating with him.

Here are 7 tips on how to deal with toxic people. Read and avoid the traps of manipulators.

Speak clearly and confidently

Difficult people choose a style of behavior in which there is no clarity in order, if necessary, to find an excuse for their actions. For example:

• “You didn’t warn that you shouldn’t tell anyone about this”;
• “I didn’t realize that we agreed on exactly 10:00.”

It is useless to hope that such a person will rely on unwritten standards of decency or common sense. Therefore, when communicating with such people, it is better to always speak clearly, emphasizing even the most obvious details, in your opinion.

Distinguish between caring and self-affirmation

The people discussed in this article love to help, but they do it in an intrusive and tiresome way. This creates the appearance of caring and we begin to think that they sincerely wish us well, they just don’t know how to do it any other way. In fact, such behavior is a way to emphasize a sense of self-worth. Therefore, do not give the green light to difficult people and stop all attempts to provide you with unnecessary assistance.

Set boundaries

Since difficult people try to avoid clarity, it is important to set boundaries when communicating with them. For example, if this is a colleague, explain that you do not take professional relationships outside the office threshold, so you shouldn’t call you or invite you somewhere after work. In principle, setting personal boundaries is the norm in all healthy relationships, even with accepted people.

Stop on time

Sometimes when communicating with such people you really want to fight back and defend your point of view or point out mistakes in their behavior. But in doing so, we take the bait, because their goal is self-affirmation through argument or conflict, not the search for truth. And in the art of argument, your opponent is most likely several levels higher than you. Therefore, in order to protect yourself, it is important to recognize their true intentions in time and walk away from the conversation.

Retreat correctly

When a difficult person's behavior begins to threaten your good mood, use a plausible excuse to leave. You urgently need to print out an important document, pick up your child from kindergarten, or wash the car. In fact, It’s not very important how you “excuse yourself”, the main thing is that it sounds convincing. Therefore, it is better to prepare such rescue excuses in advance.

Don't get personal

Yes, sometimes it can be difficult to restrain yourself and stop in time a dialogue that is of little use for our emotional health. And we ourselves do not notice how the discussion of the most peaceful issue turns into a conflict. If this happened - do not slip into discussing personal qualities, because this is a direct manifestation of powerlessness. Talk only about facts and operate with them. Be smart and set an example for your opponent, no matter how trivial it may sound.

Do what you love

After communicating with a difficult person, there is often a feeling of incompleteness, because, on the one hand, you do not put an end to it in order to avoid conflict, on the other hand, he does not burn bridges, since he avoids any form of manifestation of clarity. That's why sometimes we ourselves from time to time fuel relationships with such people, despite the fact that after every meeting we feel like a squeezed lemon. Instead, spend time doing things that you really enjoy and that bring you a sense of calm. After all, it is our true passions that make us who we are.

It's their right. So don't give them reasons for this.

Be as open as possible, consistently and reasonably, calmly explain, and best of all, disclose in advance, your actions and actions. You can even ask for advice or ask again whether what you are doing is clear.

In general, a collective discussion of something allows us to understand and trust each other more, not to mention. about joint coordinated actions...

First we need to decide what we are dealing with. Perhaps the person is frightened by something, is “breathing on water,” or is simply cautious.

Perhaps this is a typical schizophrenic, a person obsessed with persecution. In older people, suspiciousness may be a sign of age-related dementia (this is irreversible). Or a suggestible type, another “victim of TV” and “word of mouth” at the entrance.

A healthy person, capable of thinking critically and logically, can independently find the cause of any fear, analyze it and get rid of it. A person with an active psyche is not capable of self-analysis. How deep these “movements” are, the more difficult it will be to communicate with such a person.

Here, too, we must act in proportion to the situation. Your excessive openness, friendliness, and smiling can cause no less suspicion. So just be unobtrusive. And be on your guard. As soon as you feel that something is wrong, the person begins to “close down” - change your tactics. Don't be overly interested, even with the best of intentions. What a person deems necessary to tell about himself, his loved ones, affairs and problems, a person will tell himself. If he doesn’t, it’s his right. This means you “didn’t get through.”

A loved one, a friend, obsessed with fears and suspicions, can be taken to a psychologist, provided that he understands his problem and how much it interferes with his life. A psychologist will help in just a couple of sessions. As for co-workers, neighbors, casual acquaintances - maintain with them the kind of relationship that the hostel requires. And, if you don’t need some kind of contact, let this person go from you.

It all depends on how much you need such communication.

If this is a close person, then I would try to call (cautiously) such a person for a frank conversation, talk about his suspicions and fears, perhaps about the reason for all this, try to somehow logically explain that such fears are unfounded, giving clear examples for this, sometimes even humorous or playful - suspicious people, it seems to me, have no time for positive emotions, they are like a “thing in themselves”, constantly stewing in their fears - so help them, add at least a little positive to their lives.
And, by the way, I agree with the previous consultant, if your friend or relative understands that his fears are far-fetched, but cannot cope with them himself, the help of a good psychologist or even a psychotherapist would be very helpful.

If it’s for work, I would try to minimize communication with such a person as much as possible. Why draw fire on yourself once again, especially if this is your superiors. Here it is best to try to somehow lull his vigilance, suspicion, etc.
It would be ideal to become a good friend, but not a “vest”, although this is always nearby (((. I’m writing that not a vest, because otherwise you may find yourself involved in his intrigues or even revenge behind his back, but do you need it? I think which is unlikely.

In fact, this is a very fine line between suspicion and mania, probably only a specialist doctor can say for sure, and even then not for sure. Especially if the person has recently suffered a terrible loss or has been under stress for a long time.

But if nothing like that happened, and the person is initially negative, sees only the bad in everything, this is definitely not normal (from my point of view). I would avoid such people.

There is no need to contact suspicious people. Give them time..possibly a lot of time. But, sooner or later, they themselves will make contact (if they have nothing to fear from you).

If you try with all your might to establish contact when a person is afraid and resists. Then you will only aggravate the situation: the person kicks, shuns you, and you, anyway, climb towards him - it means you definitely need something from him and his fears are not in vain. A vicious circle emerges.

And in general, think about whether you need contacts with people who don’t trust you?

In modern conditions, the phrase “child protection” has acquired a direct meaning associated with ensuring the life and health of the younger generation, their psychological and moral education. Considering the protection of the rights of minors to be one of the priority areas of activity, in each specific case the investigation carefully determines the circumstances that contributed to the commission of crimes, and preventive measures are taken to improve their quality of life.

An analysis of the causes and conditions characterizing the circumstances of the commission of crimes indicates that, as a rule, the victims live in dysfunctional families. At the same time, today a prosperous environment does not guarantee the safety of a child. An absolutely paradoxical phenomenon is the commission of intentional crimes against minors by members of their families or close acquaintances who are members of the family.

Investigative practice shows that the improper fulfillment by parents or persons replacing them of their responsibilities for the upbringing, maintenance, and development of the child is becoming increasingly negative due to the leaving of young and minor children unattended and the lack of control over their behavior.

A distinctive feature of modern times is the uncontrolled use of technical resources by minors. We note the emergence of a new type of crime - Internet pedophilia. Taking into account the increasingly strong communication of children on social networks, including through the Skype system, this phenomenon is becoming extremely dangerous, and it is necessary to counter it now, before it is too late.

Based on the results of our activities, we responsibly declare that many crimes of which children become victims could have been avoided by instilling in children the simplest rules of behavior, the truisms that one should not talk to strangers on the street, get into other people’s cars, drive in social correspondence networks and communicate with suspicious people. At the same time, adults are obliged to be an example of conscientiousness and show due attention and care to their children. Find an opportunity to accompany the child, even if the route seems safe, to control the behavior of the minor as much as possible.

Before familiarizing children with the contents of the leaflet, we ask you to remember that, first of all, the safety of children depends on the close supervision of adults. The main thing that will allow you to avoid committing crimes against children is your sensitive control over their behavior.

However, often a child is left unattended for various reasons and therefore we offer recommendations that, in our opinion, will help children avoid becoming a victim of crime.

This NOTE is intended for those who:

Realizes that the moral future of the country depends on the physical and mental health of the younger generation.

Doesn't want his child to become a victim of violent crime.

He is a principled supporter of the inevitability of criminal punishment for persons who have encroached on the life and health of children.

I am ready, together with law enforcement agencies, to seek deserved punishment for committing violent crimes against children and adolescents.

The memo is intended for parents, children and each of us who considers it our most important civic duty to prevent crimes against children and adolescents. The reminder will tell you how to behave in order to prevent dangerous situations and where to turn if your loved one has become a victim or witness of a crime!

PARENTS NEED TO KNOW THIS:

If you want your child to follow safety rules, learn to follow them yourself. By personal example, instill in your child the necessary model of behavior that will keep your children safe and avoid dangerous situations. Show your children your positive actions.

Establish the necessary close contact with the child. Listen carefully to your child, analyze what he says, what worries him.

Tell your child who he can turn to in case of danger.

When accompanying your child to kindergarten or school, be sure to explain to him who exactly should come for him and explain to the child that he should not leave with anyone else.

Notify the educator or teacher about this.

If possible, always pick up your child from school.

Do not leave children unattended on the street, do not let them go for a walk alone.

Explain to children that when the phone rings, you cannot tell strangers your last name, first name, address, or tell them that you are at home alone.

If a crime is committed against your child, be sure to contact law enforcement.

If you notice a suspicious person near children's institutions, report this to law enforcement agencies.

Remember that CHILDREN, even prosperous and developed ones, can become victims of crime

because children are trusting and careless, they do not expect evil from adults, because adults are authority for them, and respect for elders often puts well-mannered children in dangerous situations.

A criminal can find the “right key” to any child: he can easily gain his trust and deceive him using the simplest methods. Therefore, the task of adults is not only to be attentive and always keep an eye on their children, but also to give them the minimum skills for safe behavior in the house, on the street and in the yard.

You can avoid violence!

To do this, you just need to correctly assess the situation and make the right decision.

WHAT NEEDS TO BE EXPLAINED TO CHILDREN

Your children must learn to trust their feelings. If suddenly they have even the slightest doubt about the person who is nearby, or if something worries them, then it is better to immediately move away from him.

By following safety rules, your child will be able to make the necessary decision in a difficult situation and avoid meeting a criminal.

To do this, you need to forever learn the “Rule of Four Don’ts”:

Don't talk to strangers or let them into your house.

Do not go into the elevator or entrance with them.

Don't get into cars with strangers.

Don't linger outside after school, especially after dark.

What if a stranger asks to show you the right street or starts an unnecessary conversation?

Just say NO anyway!

Explain how to find the street, and under no circumstances give in to persuasion to guide you. And even if a stranger says that he is an acquaintance of your parents, whom they sent to you, you must say that your parents did not warn you, and under no circumstances should you accompany them anywhere.

In what situations should you always answer “NO”?

If a stranger offers you to come visit or give you a ride home.
- If a stranger came to pick you up at school or kindergarten, and your parents did not warn about this in advance.
- If an unfamiliar person comes in the absence of parents, let him into the apartment or go somewhere with him.
- If a new acquaintance treats you with something.

Often, criminals take advantage of the gullibility of children. They offer to give you a ride home or see an animal or play your favorite game. You cannot agree to this under any circumstances.

What you need to know to avoid becoming a victim of crime:

If they ask you how to find the street, explain how to get there, but under no circumstances escort you.

If they try to persuade you, answer that you need to go home and warn your parents, tell them where you are going and with whom you are going.

If a stranger offers you to watch something or help you carry your bag, promising to pay, answer “No!”;

If you are offered to act in a movie or participate in a beauty contest, do not agree immediately, but ask where you can go with your parents. Don't go without your parents!!!

If a car slows down next to you, move as far away from it as possible and under no circumstances get into it.

If a person is following you, stalking you, go up to any house and pretend that it is your house, wave your hand and call your relatives, whom you seem to see in the window.

WHERE do criminals wait for their victims?

At the entrance:
- when approaching the house, pay attention to whether anyone is following;
- if someone is coming, do not approach the entrance. Walk on the street for 15-20 minutes, and if a stranger continues to follow you, tell about him to any adult you meet who is walking towards you.
- if the house has an intercom, call your apartment before entering the entrance and ask your parents to meet you;
- if an unfamiliar man is already in the entrance, immediately go outside and wait for one of the adult residents of the house you know to enter the entrance;
- do not go out on the stairs at a late time;
- in case of a sudden attack, assess the situation and, if possible, run away or defend yourself in any way.

In the elevator:
- enter the elevator only after making sure that there is no stranger on the platform who will follow you into the cabin;
- if a stranger is already in the called elevator, do not enter the cabin;
- do not enter the elevator with a stranger;
- if a stranger does enter the elevator, do not stand with your back to him and watch his actions;
- press the button for the nearest floor;
- if the elevator doors open, jump out onto the landing and call the residents of the building for help;
- Once you are safe, immediately call the police, report what happened, the exact address, as well as signs and direction where the attacker went.

And if you still couldn’t escape, you need to act according to the circumstances:
- if the rapist covers your mouth and takes off your clothes, do not threaten, do not cry, remain calm, talk to the rapist;
- if you can, defend yourself by any means, at the first opportunity you need to run! Don't pack your things, run away with whatever you have.

In car:

A car is not only a means of transportation, it can also become a weapon of a criminal. You need to clearly know that you cannot get into someone else’s car, even if a woman is sitting behind the wheel or in the passenger compartment.

If you end up in someone else's car:

And the driver began to show sexual interest, ask him to stop.
-If this requirement is not met and the car is not stopped, then open the door or try to break the window, that is, do everything to attract the attention of other drivers to the car.
-If the intersection is patrolled, try to draw the attention of a police officer.

On the street:

Even during the day, children face many dangers on the street. What to do if a stranger pesters you:
- don’t wait to be caught;
- if you can, throw something at the attacker’s face to confuse and distract him for a while;
- run away to the side where there are a lot of people;
- if they cover your mouth with a hand, bite your hand;
- use any auxiliary means: a pen, a comb or keys (stab into the attacker’s face, leg or arm); any aerosol (direct the stream into the eyes); heel (stomp your heel hard on the attacker’s leg);
- fight with all your might, do not wave your arms randomly. You need to inflict maximum pain on your attacker.
- As soon as he loosens his grip, run away.

Rules of behavior on the street:

If you have to walk alone in the evening, walk quickly and confidently and do not show fear; you can approach a woman who inspires confidence, or an elderly couple and walk next to them.
-On a bus, trolleybus, or train, sit closer to the driver or engineer and get out of the car at the last moment, without indicating in advance that the next stop is yours.
-Don’t vote on the road and don’t respond to an offer for a ride or a request to show you how to get there. Under no circumstances should you get into a car to show directions.
-Do not go to remote and deserted places.
-If you see a group of people or a drunk ahead, it is better to cross to the other side of the street or change the route.
-Always warn your relatives about where you are going and ask them to meet you in the evening.

Rules of conduct in your home:

Before opening the door, be sure to look through the door peephole. Let only people you know well into your apartment.
- When leaving the apartment, also look through the peephole. If there are people on the landing, wait until they leave.
-If a plumber, electrician or postman came without calling, call the dispatch center that services your home and make inquiries before letting him in.
-If, when returning home, you feel that you are being followed, do not go into the house, but return to a crowded place and ask for help.
-Before opening the front door with the key, make sure that no one is nearby.
-You cannot open the door to a stranger and let him into the apartment!!!

Every child should know that in serious matters, adults will only talk to their parents. If you receive a telegram or bill from the post office, you need to sign for it, which means only adults can do this.

The child should simply tell them to come at the hour when adults will be at home. The same goes for electricians and plumbers. Even if the lights suddenly went out at your house or a pipe burst, children should definitely call their parents and find out what to do. As a last resort, you can ask neighbors you have known for a long time.

It is also necessary to teach children how to correctly navigate a specific situation.

Rules of conduct when shopping:

If you're going shopping -
- before leaving the house, count your cash;
- do not tell anyone about how much money you have;
- do not enter a sales tent, car, or utility room alone, be sure to take a person accompanying you with you;
- when paying, do not show all the money you have.

By following these tips, you will make a purchase that will bring you joy.

If a suspicious (explosive) object is detected:

Signs of explosive objects may include:
- an ownerless bag, briefcase, box, package, part, any object found at school, in the entrance, at the door of the apartment, under the stairs, in the car and public transport;
- stretched wire or cord;
- wires or insulating tape hanging from under the machine.
Remember that ordinary household items are used as cover and camouflage for explosive devices: bags, packages, packages, boxes, children's toys, etc.

In all of the above cases it is necessary:
- do not touch, do not open, do not move the find;
- move to a safe distance;
- report the find to the teacher, parents, police officer, driver, train driver.
When entering the entrance of a house, always pay attention to ownerless items. Don't touch them!!! Report them to the police!!!

Safety measures for dog attacks:

Remember that dogs perceive a smile as a baring of teeth, and a gaze as a challenge to a fight.
Do this. What does a dog do when he admits defeat?
- look away
- behave calmly and peacefully,
- do not make sudden movements,
- do not raise your arms above your head,
- do not turn your back on the dog,
- don't run away from her.

Before biting, the dog gives pre-emptive signals: flattens its ears, squats on its hind legs, growls, bares its teeth.

If you feel like the dog is about to rush at you:
- press your chin to your chest, protecting your neck,
- place a bag, umbrella, jacket, shoes, toy, etc. under the dog’s mouth.
- in a firm and decisive voice, try to give the commands: “Stop!”, “Ugh!”, “You can’t!”, “Place!”, “Sit!”, “Lie down!”, “Drop!”, “Back!” and others - at random, quickly, a lot and loudly.
Try to distract the dog by throwing any object to the side, preferably a stick or an umbrella.
Don't go close to stray dogs, no matter how harmless they may seem.
If a dog does bite you, consult a doctor immediately!

Rules of behavior in extreme situations

If you find yourself under the rubble of a building:
- try not to lose heart. Calm down.
- breathe deeply and evenly;
- be prepared for the rescuers to find you;
- use your voice and knock to attract people's attention.

If you are deep under the rubble of a building, move any metal object (ring, keys, etc.) left or right so that you can be detected using an echo direction finder.

Move carefully, trying not to cause a new collapse, be guided by the movement of air coming from outside.

If you have the opportunity, use available items (boards, bricks, etc.) to strengthen the ceiling from collapse and wait for help.

If the space around you is relatively free, do not light an open fire. Save oxygen.

If you are very thirsty, put a small pebble in your mouth and suck on it, breathing through your nose.

Remember! Maintaining your composure will save you the physical strength needed to wait for help from search or rescue!

YOU WILL DEFINITELY BE SAVED!!!

If you are taken hostage:

Pull yourself together, calm down and don't panic;
- if you are tied up or have your eyes closed, try to relax, breathe deeper;
- do not try to escape if you are not completely sure of the success of your escape;
- remember as much information as possible about the terrorists, their number, level of armament, features of appearance, topics of conversation;
- detailed information will subsequently help in identifying the terrorists;
- if possible, stay away from windows, doors and the kidnappers themselves, i.e. in places of greater safety;
- try to determine your location using various signs;
- in the event of an assault on a building, it is recommended to lie face down on the floor with your hands folded at the back of your head;
- be sure that the police and intelligence services are taking the necessary measures for your release.

Relationships with the kidnappers:
- from the very beginning (especially the first half hour) follow all the orders of the kidnappers;
- take a position of passive cooperation;
- speak in a calm voice. Avoid provocative hostile behavior that may anger the invaders.
- do not offer aggressive resistance, do not provoke terrorists to rash actions;
- if you have health problems, report this in a calm manner to the people who captured you;
- do not express categorical refusals, but do not be afraid to make calm requests for what you urgently need;
- Behave calmly while maintaining your self-esteem.

If you are in a hostage position for a long time:
- do not allow feelings of pity, confusion and embarrassment to arise;
- mentally prepare yourself for future challenges;
- remember that the chances of release increase over time;
- stay mentally active, don’t let your consciousness weaken. Constantly train your memory: remember historical dates, names of friends, phone numbers, etc.
- constantly find something to do, do physical exercises as much as your strength and space allow;
- if possible, be sure to follow the rules of personal hygiene;
- to maintain strength, eat everything that is given, even if you don’t like the food and don’t cause appetite;
- think and remember pleasant things;
- Be sure that everything possible is now being done for your speedy release.

How to talk to a kidnapper:
Answer questions briefly.
Be careful when personal issues are brought up.

Monitor your behavior and responses carefully.

Do not make statements that may harm you or others.
Remain tactful under all circumstances.
Control your mood.
Don't take the side of the kidnappers.
Don't actively express your sympathy and commitment to their ideals.

If forced, express support for the terrorists' demands (in writing, audio or video), indicating that they come from the kidnappers. Avoid calls and statements on your own behalf.

Think about what qualities you need to have to remain a winner in this case.

Rules of conduct in case of fire:

Do not call from a smoke-filled room where there is already a fire, get out to a safe place and call the “01” service;
- do not stand in a smoky or burning room - press yourself to the floor, where the air is cleaner, and make your way to the exit;
- do not waste time looking for documents and money, do not take risks, leave the dangerous premises;
- never return to a smoky or burning room, no matter what reasons prompt you to do so;
- when leaving smoky or burning rooms, close the door behind you, this will reduce the risk of fire spreading;
- never open a door if it is hot to the touch;
- if there are no escape routes, if possible, plug the door cracks with improvised means (any rags, tape, etc.);
- be near the window so that you can be seen from the street;
- try not to open other doors in the room so as not to create additional air draft.

Be patient, don't panic!

If there is a fire in the building, do not use the elevator; it may turn off at any minute;
- in case of burns, do not lubricate the skin with anything, do not touch the burns with your hands;
- When a fire occurs, your main enemy is time. Every second can cost you your life!

And let's talk about one more unpleasant topic.

When violence happens in the family, life turns into a real nightmare.

Such “family” crimes, as a rule, are extended over time and are revealed only when children decide to take extreme measures: they try to commit suicide or run away from home.

Usually children hide these terrible facts because they subconsciously consider themselves guilty of what is happening and are afraid of the contempt of others. The seducer assures you that they will stop loving you if they find out about what happened, or threatens to kill you. That is why such precedents can be repeated many times.

There are several forms of abuse: physical, sexual, mental abuse, neglect. Violence is any form of relationship aimed at establishing or maintaining control by force over another person.

Signs of Child Abuse

There are several clear signs of child abuse that require immediate notification to law enforcement:
- traces of beatings, torture, other physical influence (criminal liability has been established for committing such actions, provided for in the articles of Chapter 16); traces of sexual violence (responsibility for these actions is provided for in Chapter 18 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation “Crimes against sexual integrity and sexual freedom of the individual”);
- neglected condition of children (pediculosis, dystrophy, etc.);
- lack of normal living conditions for the child: unsanitary condition of housing, failure to comply with basic hygiene rules, lack of sleeping places, bedding, clothing, food and other items in the house that meet the age-related needs of children and are necessary to care for them;
- systematic drunkenness of parents, fights in the presence of the child, deprivation of sleep, the child is kicked out of the house, etc.
These circumstances will indicate a failure to fulfill the duties of raising a minor.

What to do in cases where violence occurs in the family

First of all, we must remember that the child has rights that are protected by law!
Any child can contact law enforcement agencies. According to the law, a case of rape of a minor can be initiated without filing a statement.

If for some reason a minor does not have the opportunity to go to the police, you need to contact your mother, friends, well-known neighbors, teachers - a person you trust, or call the helpline.

Of course, this is difficult to do, but still necessary!
If the employees of the educational institution that the child attends become aware of at least one of the listed signs, they should send a memo to the head of the educational institution about the identified case of child abuse.

The head of the educational institution immediately reports this by telephone (and then sends written information within one day) to the guardianship and trusteeship authorities to conduct an examination of the living conditions and upbringing of the child.

A specialist in child rights protection, together with a specialist from an educational institution, an employee of internal affairs bodies (if necessary), immediately conducts an examination of the living conditions and upbringing of the child, based on the results of which an examination report is drawn up.

Based on the results of the activities carried out, the head of the educational institution sends information about the incident to law enforcement agencies, recording the number of the outgoing message, attaching an inspection report on the living conditions and upbringing of the child, leaving copies of the messages and attached materials in the office work documents.

The relevant information can be sent to the internal affairs bodies or to the prosecutor's office and the Investigative Committee of the Russian Federation. You shouldn’t be afraid to make a mistake here - in any case, the application will be transferred within the jurisdiction, and law enforcement agencies must respond to it without fail.

A guide to parents on managing children's online safety.

And a few words about the Internet.

The Internet can be a great place both for learning and for relaxing and communicating with friends. But, like the rest of the real world, the Internet can also be dangerous, especially for the unformed minds of children, who sometimes perceive information posted on the Internet as the ultimate truth. Before allowing children to access the Internet on their own, there are a few things they should understand.

Tell your children about the dangers that exist on the Internet and teach them how to get out of unpleasant situations correctly. At the end of the conversation, set some limits on Internet use and discuss them with your children. Together, you can create comfort and safety for children on the Internet, including helping your child avoid communicating with pedophiles.

If you're not sure where to start, here are some thoughts on how to make your kids' internet experience completely safe:
- set rules for working on the Internet for children and be adamant;
- Teach children to take the following precautions to maintain the confidentiality of personal information - when introducing yourself, you should use only your first name or pseudonym;
- you should never disclose your phone number or residential or school address;
- never send your photos. Never allow children to meet people they know online without adult supervision;
- If children chat, use instant messaging, play games or do anything else that requires a login name, help your child choose one and make sure it does not contain any personal information;
- Teach children to respect others and the Internet. Make sure they know that good behavior applies everywhere - even in the virtual world.
- Tell your children that they should never meet online friends. Explain that these people may not be who they say they are.
- tell your children that not everything they read or see on the Internet is true. Teach them to ask you if they are unsure.
- control your children’s online activities using modern programs. They will help filter out harmful content, find out what sites your child visits and what he does on them. This way you can protect your child from unnecessary contacts and information.
- be attentive to your children. Especially during the holidays, when children get more freedom.

Information for parents of students!

As part of the social project “Internet without Violence,” all parents are given the opportunity to use the “NetPolice” or “Internet Censor” content filter for free to protect children from contact with unwanted and illegal Internet content on home computers.

The content filter will help parents control their children's access to Internet resources and make their online experience safer.

Sometimes we all, regardless of our desire, have to communicate with unpleasant people. These could be relatives, colleagues, clients, acquaintances, neighbors, bosses, etc. It is important to know the means of communicating with unpleasant people.

What kind of unpleasant people are they? They cause us irritation, fear, anger, confusion, we feel helpless, insecure, cannot resist them, and feel pressure.

And how do we usually react? We ignore them and walk away, snap at them, raise our voices in response, try to convince them or calm them down, give advice, laugh them off...

Most often, such people are “energy vampires” who “feed” on our energy. Unfortunately, they can only “assimilate” the energy received from people like them - from boors, but they are not very keen to give it to them. So they have to “feed” on us – calm, adequate people.

Means of communication in times of conflict

First, let's get acquainted with the practices that are used "in the fields"- that is, right at the moment of interaction with a person you dislike. Then with those who will help before or after the conflict figure out what’s wrong and how to prevent such situations in the future.

1. If they attack you verbally, raise their voice, insult you, or make some kind of complaints, you can simply respond to each remark: “ Yes, you are right" Let’s say the mother-in-law says to the daughter-in-law: “You are a bad housewife, you are a bad mother,” etc., and the daughter-in-law answers her: “Yes, I’m a bad housewife, yes, I’m a bad mother,” and soon the aggressor will simply run out of arguments. By the way, teenagers often unknowingly use this particular method.
   However, in order to emerge victorious from such skirmishes, you must have one quality - awareness, the ability to be Here and now. The best way to enter this state is to concentrate on some part of the body. Excitement is always in the future and never in the present. Take the button and prick your finger - this will definitely return you to the “now”, otherwise you risk leaving this state and starting to react to aggression.
   For example, your boss called you into his office. Before you go to him, enter the state of “here and now” and answer him: “Yes, you are right.” Then he will either immediately change his anger to mercy (because it is important for him that everyone recognizes that he is right), or after 2-3 such meetings (he will understand that he will not receive energy from you).
2. This method is perfect for interacting with unpleasant people. people on the Internet. When you receive some unpleasant message, the best solution is take a break. Don't respond as long as it takes your emotions to calm down. As a rule, a day is enough. And then figure out why this situation bothered you so much.
   The same method works in a company when someone is rude to you or accidentally makes a bad joke on you. You become silent, take a break, walk away, or silently look away and ignore. A boor will not make more than three attempts to pester you - it will already look inadequate.
3. This technique also works: give yourself the opportunity show all emotions that this person evokes in you and allow yourself to feel right now that you are irritated and angry with him. Experience all the emotions and call them by their proper names (you can say it out loud if the situation allows it, but you can also say it to yourself). Check to see if there are other feelings behind these feelings. Helplessness often hides pain or fear. Most often, the emotion you named goes away and you stop feeling it. Sometimes, when a loved one attacks, if you say “you annoy me”, “your words make me angry”, he may wonder if he is doing everything right and change the strategy of behavior with you. Make it clear to the person that you are not going to communicate like that. Most often, loved ones want the best for us, and the basis of close bad relationships is a conflict that you did not resolve at the time.
4. Will help sense of humor. When people shout at you, imagine the aggressor, for example, in a Winnie the Pooh costume. Have fun, mentally add new details to his image, nod, assent and don’t take it seriously. If you can’t do this, try to feel sorry for him. Still, he constantly lives in an atmosphere of anger, aggression, no one loves him.
5. If your boss scolds you, you say “yes, you’re right,” he becomes quiet for a minute and then you interject: “What a wonderful tie, I’ve never seen it on you before, it suits you very well,” and thus breaking the script. When he falls into a stupor from surprise, say what you want: “Let's talk calmly. Communicating in such a tone is beneath my dignity.”
6. Remember the magic phrase "May be" and start every important question with it. It will sound completely different, and accordingly, people's reactions will be different. And all because you simply give your interlocutor a choice.
7. When your personal boundaries are violated - move away physically, find a reason to take a step back.
8. If uncomfortable topics come up that you don’t want to talk about with this person, or maybe with anyone at all - laugh it off. Prepare several answers to these questions at home. For example, if they ask: “Why haven’t you gotten married yet? You’re already 35,” answer: “Yes, I would be glad, but there are no men left, who should I marry?”
9. Sometimes, when a person has said something unpleasant to you, you can give him a second chance, a chance to improve. Ask again: “What did you say?”, only absolutely calmly, without aggression. If he understands the mistake, he will say: “Nothing important,” if he repeats it, use the described reaction methods.

Communication techniques before and after conflict

The following means of communication will help already not in the conflict, but before or after it.

• When you are left alone after a conflict, explain to yourself why is this person unpleasant to you?; what qualities does he display; why you don't like them; why did you decide that such qualities cannot be demonstrated; when did you realize it; whether it was related to the parental or current family; what situations it was connected with; did you develop it yourself or did your parents instill it in you, etc.

How would you like to deal with this person for what he did to you? Can you do it? If not, think about what is stopping you (besides, of course, the Criminal Code). If you feel like you want to kill him, don’t worry, it’s an illusion, just emotions that overwhelm you.

• If you have to communicate with this person regularly, if this is not a colleague with whom you can reduce all communication to work issues, but, for example, a family member who lives in the next room, this will work great meditation method. Imagine that far, far away in a secret place there is a clearing, and in the clearing there is a well covered with a heavy lid - the well of transformation. Everything that falls there is transformed and turns into good. Invite (mentally) this unpleasant person there, quietly open the lid and throw him there. Close the lid immediately to prevent it from getting out. He will resist at first, but eventually he will calm down, and you can open the lid, let him out and talk to him: tell him everything that you feel towards him. “What I really want is for you to listen to me so that you stop attacking me,” “When you’re not in my life, I won’t have to worry about having only sarcastic remarks waiting for me at home instead of words of encouragement,” and things like that.

• Another method from Gestalt therapy is look at the situation from a distance. Choose a place in the room and put there an object or thing that will symbolize you, in another place put an object for that person, and in a third place a symbol of someone you respect and who could be impartial. Alternately, sit in your place, speak out, then sit in the place of the annoying person, also speak out, and in the place of the third figure, and also. thus with yourself.
• You can also use another game method. Describe the person who annoys you out loud in as much detail as you can: why he annoys you so much, what he is like, why he is unpleasant to you. Try to play it: show his gait, gestures, talk like him, copy the tilt of the head, timbre of voice, intonation. Try just like him, be him, turn into him. You can do this in front of a mirror. Feel the atmosphere that is created around it. If you can really immerse yourself, you will feel the power of this person, you will understand his motives. Think about how this energy can be useful to you.
• Think that the person who annoys you doesn't annoy everyone. For example, an annoying colleague can be a tender mother, and a grumpy neighbor can be a devoted friend. Analyze what good qualities he might have. Also, do not forget that a person may have some problems that are completely unrelated to you.

Your task is to stop experiencing emotions that are painful for you. Never stoop to responding to aggression with aggression. Your main tools are dignity, calm and restraint.

Remember: what we don’t like in people is necessarily present in ourselves. And what irritates us the most are people who are similar to us in some ways and those who express qualities that we have suppressed in ourselves.

And when answering people who irritate you, do not forget that what is more important is how you answer, with what intonation, and not what specific words you pronounce. It is necessary to use means of communication wisely.