When is a lie good? White lies. Examples from literature

In the modern world, remaining open and honest with others can be imprudent and even dangerous, so people very often resort to lies. For those who are forced to tell a lie, it is important to know how to behave so that the deception goes unnoticed.

Just remember how many times you yourself had to lie or withhold information at work, at home, with friends. Sometimes we have to use lies in order not to hurt a person’s feelings, to achieve this or that position, or to protect our loved one from stress. The motives that prompted us to deceive others may be different, but the result is the same.

A lie, outright or evasive, expressed or not, always remains a lie.
Charles Dickens

When do we tell white lies?

Then this happens so that your parents don’t worry, your loved one doesn’t cause a scandal, your friend doesn’t harbor a grudge against you. Sometimes it is very difficult to stop lying and start living according to your conscience.

How often do we resort to white lies?

There are many situations when it is impossible to do without lying. As a rule, people tell white lies:

• At the moment when you need to cheer up a person during illness. This is a necessary procedure for a person to continue to resist and fight for his health.
• When communicating with children. In order not to traumatize the child’s psyche, it is sometimes better to hide something.
• You don't want your family to be upset or disappointed in you. Sometimes it's better not to talk about all the problems.
• When you don’t want to start a conflict with your loved ones, because the truth is not always pleasant and can lead to a quarrel.
• When communicating via the Internet, do not tell the whole truth to maintain your safety.
• If a person wants to cheer someone up. Such lies are harmless.
• By supporting your loved ones, you can show your solidarity so as not to spoil your relationship with them.

A white lie remains an evil.
But it happens that the truth brings more troubles than the worst lies.
Karina Pyankova (Rights and Responsibilities. Ealius the Dragon Slayer)

White lies: arguments FOR and AGAINST

At the same time, we are constantly faced with questions of trust and deception, lies and truth, friendship and mistrust. Often we see outright and blatant lies that are invented on purpose.

But even here, not everything is so simple. Sometimes they resort to lying in order to avoid trouble, so as not to injure their family and friends, and so on.

Distorting the truth, hiding certain events and actions, presenting oneself in the best light is the norm these days. Adults often scold children “for lying,” and they themselves often dissemble and embellish. So this is completely normal? This is confirmed by experts. In our age, it is unrealistic to fit into society without the ability to hide a lot and “present” yourself in the best light.

Lies, or rather the suppression of certain facts and concealment of the truth, are constantly present in our lives. There are no squeaky clean people, just as there are no “total liars.”

White lies: reasons + examples

1. Fear

There is nothing wrong with fear itself. Fear helps us exist in this world; it regulates the basic instinct - survival. In the event of some kind of threat, we first of all save our lives, and also do everything to provide ourselves with food, warmth and protection.

A person always strives to be comfortable and safe, and it is the fear of losing something good, necessary, necessary that often pushes one to deceive.

Basically, lying to one degree or another is associated with the fear of losing a loved one, friend, girlfriend, trust. As a consequence, the suppression of some “ugly” facts of one’s biography, fairy-tale theories, fables, and the like.

As an example, consider the following case. The husband was late at work because he was celebrating a colleague’s birthday. Arriving home, he told his wife that he had to solve urgent work problems outside of work hours, and drank a glass to relieve stress.

And here is another case that is familiar first-hand to parents of children studying at school: A boy receives a bad grade and tears out a page from his diary and waits in horror - “whether he blows it or not.”

2. Creating a certain opinion about yourself

For prom, we take out the best dress and pretend to be infinite, we don’t talk about our problems, we only talk about our non-childish achievements, which naturally did not exist.

3. The desire to hide the truth for humanitarian reasons

• If a relative is seriously ill, then perhaps in some cases it is worth hiding the truth from him and showing optimism and confidence in his speedy recovery.
• If a child or an elderly person’s loved one has died, then sometimes the truth is not told right away, so as not to injure or worsen the condition.
• If a little person’s pet has died, then it is better to tell the child that the cat or dog has been taken to the doctor. Then, as events unfold, you can discuss a situation in which the sick animal should live in a clinic under the supervision of veterinarians.

Well, why does a husband need to know that eight years ago his wife had a lover with whom she had a passionate affair? And she didn’t go to a sanatorium, but to relax with this very man? It’s all over a long time ago, time has passed, and it’s simply not reasonable to hurt a person.

If we consider the many reasons for lies, concealment of facts, distortion of the truth and double interpretation of the truth, we can often come to very interesting conclusions. It turns out that lying is not only not bad, but sometimes even useful. We just need to do this wisely, with full assumption of responsibility for this “lie” of ours and with an understanding of the reasons that prompted us to take such a step.

Rules for successful white lies

How to make white lies believed?

1. The main principle is not to overdo it with lies. Give out information in portions so that the lie is truthful. It will be difficult to believe that you have seen flying elephants.
2. Lies should be thought out in advance, then it will look more natural than when you stutter, and your eyes frantically run around.
3. Watch the person you want to deceive. There are different people: some are ready to believe in almost everything, even what defies logic, while others question everything. Study the person and find your own approach to him.
4. Be mindful of the little things you mention. A lie can be discovered because of a little thing you missed. If you tell your husband that you went to the movies with your friend on Friday, then a week later don’t forget which movie you went to. It will be very suspicious if after some time you invite your loved one to go to the same film, forgetting that you have already seen it.
5. Sincerely believe in what you say. It often happens that you need to tell a lie where you did not intend. Don't stress when you lie. This immediately raises some suspicions. Relax and tell what you were going to say, now is not the time to feel guilty for your lies, because almost everyone does this.

Video: Can a lie be good?

Sometimes they want to use lies for good. I don't believe that a lie can do good.
The pure truth sometimes causes acute pain, but the pain passes, while the wound inflicted by lies festers and does not heal.
John Steinbeck. East of Eden

Conclusion

lying was never good

If you tell a person a lie, you lose trust. By telling the truth, you lose a person. He who wants to believes. The one who loves wants it. He who does not love does not believe, regardless of the measure of truth. What is truth? Today she is alone. Tomorrow will be completely different. And the day after tomorrow it turns out that everything was a lie... Conclusion: a lie for the good - always for the sake of your loved one.

• no fucking excuse, the truth and only the truth!

  to save a person

  A dying person is not told the whole truth about his health.
  The child is not told the whole truth about his dysfunctional parents.
  And in general, they don’t say a lot, so as not to upset, it won’t damage the psyche.
  A mentally ill person is not told that he is sick.
  You can give a bunch more examples.

  Well, this is an interesting question - some people are closer to the bitter truth than a sweet lie, but for others it’s the other way around.
  A partial truth is a belief rather than a lie.

  A lie always remains a lie. And all these definitions of “for the good,” etc., are secondary.
  What seems like a white lie to one may be a simple ploy to hide something for another.

  Yes, if it is really for the good, of course it will all come out, but if I lied knowing that at that moment it would be better (and the truth would “hurt”), naturally, this is the best option for me.

  For example, a person dies (incurable disease), and someone close to him should tell him about it, as it were. Not everyone can withstand such a test and live knowing that you will soon die, so some hide the truth about the illnesses of loved ones.

There is a category of people who are sure that there is no place for lies in life. Not at all. Another part of people believes that survival in the modern world also depends on how successfully you master the art of lying. Well, another part does not approve of lying, but completely tolerates it, as they say “for the good”!

How do you feel about LIES in the modern world in a purely practical and applied sense of this issue?

But under the cut there are some details about LIES:

1. Let's start with the definition. A lie is a statement that is obviously not true.


2. Lies appear in legends, myths and fairy tales. In the Western tradition, lying is a vice that is punished or corrected. In oriental fairy tales, there are more often lies and trickery for salvation.


3. Mythomania, or the Munchausen complex, is a disease due to which a person feels a constant urge to distort the truth. With the help of lies, he creates an alternative reality and, often, sincerely believes in his words.


4. A lie detector or polygraph does not fully guarantee lie detection. The device's readings are based on measuring a person's blood pressure and pulse, but among liars there are many people who are able to deceive the detector. However, a study by the Federal National Security System showed that modern polygraphs are 96% accurate.


5. When a person lies, the levels of cortisol and testosterone in his blood increase.


6. The most “deceitful” country is China. In an experiment conducted by the University of East Anglia, it was found that 70% of respondents lied in order to receive a promised monetary reward.


7. Lies can be divided into spontaneous and planned.


8. A spontaneous liar can give himself away by posture, gesture or glance, which cannot be said about a professional liar.


9. Spontaneous lies are defensive lies; they usually arise under the influence of circumstances and are poorly remembered. The speech of a spontaneous liar is characterized by a large number of pauses, slips of the tongue and speech errors.


10. An abundance of pauses in a conversation is not a sign of lying. Perhaps the person is simply trying to find expressions.


11. A planned lie is well thought out. A person’s speech becomes confident, collected, and calm.


12. Scientists from the University of Hertfordshire have found that men lie more often than women. According to evolutionary psychology professor Karen Payne, the average man lies 1,092 times a year, and the average woman lies 728 times.


13. Women most often lie about their own condition. Perhaps because they cannot always understand their feelings.


14. According to the HeadHunter website, most liars work in the trade sector - more than 67%.


15. Research conducted by the University of Amsterdam has shown that lying most often occurs due to lack of time. People who have thought about it and made a decision lie less.


16. Compulsive liars have brains that work better and faster than people who lie spontaneously. Yaling Yang, director of psychological research at the University of Southern California, says their brains contain 22-26% more white matter and a more developed prefrontal cortex.


17. Truth serum, or sodium pentathol, is not actually capable of making a person tell the truth. It only removes a person’s psychological filters.


18. One of the famous liars of the 20th century is Victor Lustig. He went down in history as the man who sold the Eiffel Tower twice.


19. It is almost impossible to identify a liar by his eyes if he deliberately lies.


20. Most religions consider lying a great sin. For example, the Four Noble Truths in Buddhism say that a person must follow the path of self-discipline, including avoiding lies - unrighteous speech.


21. The Christian faith teaches that lying is a great sin, for it is said, “No one who acts deceitfully will live in my house; he who speaks a lie will not remain before my eyes” (Psalm 101:7).


22. Islam is one of the few religions that approves of lying in some cases. Thus, the outstanding Muslim historian and theologian Al-Tabari said: “Lying is a sin, but not when it serves the benefit of a Muslim.” Lying in the name of Islam is called taqiya, and concealing part of the truth is kitman.


23. Children begin to lie around the same time they learn to speak. Most often, this lie is not conscious. Children often use the same template to answer all the same type of questions, and their imagination makes them believe what is said.


24. Even animals can lie, says Steven Nowitzky, a biologist at Duke University. Research results have shown that almost all representatives of the fauna can lie to each other. For example, shrike birds can use their voice to warn their relatives about danger, or they can deliberately use a signal to scare them away from food.


25. Psychologist Robert Wright, in his book The Moral Animal, argues that lying is the engine of human evolution. According to the author, the more developed the communication system, the higher the level of lies in society.


26. Women regret telling lies in 82% of cases, men only in 70%.


27. American scientists Mariam Kuchaki and Isaac H. Smith proved that a person is most honest before noon. After 12 noon, the percentage of lies in the speech of the subjects began to increase, reaching a maximum in the evening.


28. There are six types of lies - manipulating quality, manipulating quantity of information, conveying ambiguous information, irrelevant information, omission and distortion.


29. When a person lies, he experiences a whole range of emotions, the most striking of which are fear, delight, guilt and shame.


30. The concept of “white lie” appeared in ancient times. Plato advocated the policy of the noble lie in The Republic.